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DON’T EAT YOUR HUMAN BOYFRIEND

Performed by Michael Lesley & Produced by Podium

I like to describe myself as an ethical ghoul. I’ve been working at Broth with a Bite in the Creepy Court Mall food court for eight years so that I can get my… very specific nutritional needs in a way that doesn’t make me feel like too much of a monster. I work in the ‘special’ kitchen, preparing food for our customers with the same, ahem, nutritional issues, and I’m totally fine working alongside the humans who run the other kitchen and have no idea what’s actually served.

Until the new guy starts. The new human guy with the cutest shy smile and the raddest hair and a body that makes my mouth water. He looks like a very decent mouthful and smells like the best five-course meal rolled into one.

Suddenly, Ricky is all I can think about. Sweet, delicious Ricky who has no idea he’s working in a restaurant for ghouls, who has no idea ghouls even exist, and who I just want to take a big bite out of. Not, like, literally. Kind of.

It’s totally wrong for a ghoul to lust after a human. They’re food. But I can’t help it. I want Ricky bad. I just have to remember to keep my teeth in check.